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I Wanna Let Go

I wanna let go.

I wanna let go… when life seems terribly brutal and painful.

I wanna let go… when I’m moving along, enjoying the things that make me happy, and it feels as though my feet are pulled right out from under me.

I wanna let go… when it feels like I’m slowly bleeding out or the air is being pulled from my lungs.

I wanna let go… when my body just doesn’t work like it used to.

I wanna let go… when tragedy hits with the sudden or prolonged death of someone or something that I hold dear.

I wanna let go… when I’m sitting alone wondering how, at this very moment in time, I’m the only one here.

I wanna let go… when I’m asking myself in a thousand ways, why; why are the dreams I dream left lying dormant while others experience things they never imagined.

Why must I hold on when I just wanna let go?

Because I can’t let go.

I can’t let go… because life isn’t always brutal and painful, and there are more happy times than sad.

I can’t let go… because most of the time I’m upright, with my feet firmly planted on solid ground.

I can’t let go… because I do still have wind in my lungs and blood pumping through my veins.

I can’t let go… because even if my body does not cooperate as well as it used to, most of the time I can get it to compromise and at least come close.

I can’t let go… because as painful as it is to lose someone or something, my memories are stronger than my pain.

I can’t let go… because even though I feel lonely, if I just get up and move around or go somewhere, anywhere, even if I’m still alone, I don’t feel quite so lonely anymore.

I can’t let go… because my dreams may be delayed, but my timing and that of another are not the same, and I believe dreams really do come true, and maybe they’ve been waiting longer than me anyways.

I can’t let go… because I don’t really wanna let go after all.

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