Chasing the Wind.
Urban dictionary defines it as “A task that is meaningless. Void of purpose or virtue. A circular path, leading to no particular destination”.

 

This is me.

This is how I feel sometimes. It is like what I’ve been doing, the life I’ve been leading, has no real meaning, no purpose, no future, and no sure destination. It is as if I’m on a train circling a mountain with many stops, but none of them are the right one, and I always end up back at the same place I started.

I’ve tried a lot of different things in my life, trying to find my purpose, trying to find who I am and why I’m here. I’ve been hoping to find meaning in something, anything that not only gives me value, but let’s me see it and feel it for myself.

I’ve taken class after class. I’ve gotten certification after certification. I’ve worked job after job. So far nothing has really ever filled the void that seems endless.

I’m ready to stop chasing the wind and find “that thing”, “that niche”, “the future” that’s right for me.

Let me be clear, I’m not after tons of money or fame. I’m looking to be invaluable to some thing or some cause. 

I know I have some amazing people in my life that view me in the way I long to see myself. Hopefully soon the blinders that prevent me from seeing will be removed so I can be the “me” I’m supposed to be. I know some wish I would just hurry up already, as it seems like this path has no end.  I know the ones who care for me are pained by my endless searching and hope for me to find what I’m looking for.

I think I’m close. I think I have been for a little while now. I think I’ve seen it more than once, through times past. My hope is that at this point in time I have the courage to grab a hold of it.

Perhaps instead of chasing the wind I can finally catch my future.

3 Comments

  1. For what it’s worth – you’re invaluable to me. Irreplaceable. You remind me that it’s okay to be me and that there is nothing wrong with my personality. I regularly feel like the oddball out and that I don’t really fit anywhere but that’s where you remind me that I’m totally wrong. You’ll find your niche and you’ll love it. 😘 (and I will too lol)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I think you’re amazing and I’m learning that I’m not so bad either. We’re a lot alike in many ways and it’s OK for us to just be who we are. I’m excited for the changes that we’re both experiencing now and the ones soon to come.

      Like

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